I decided recently to go ahead and have a mid-life crisis. I’m 42, after all, and if I live to be twice that age (84!), I’ll be right in line with the average lifespan for American women. I hope to reach three digits of course, and be interviewed by some chirpy little newscaster who visits me in ‘the home’ and asks me the secret of such a long life while I preside over my birthday cake with a plastic tiara clinging precariously to my little nodding dandelion-fluff head…
But I digress. I’m ready for my mid-life crisis while I’m still young enough to enjoy it!
In preparation, I was thinking of all the things that I’ve learned since I passed the portals of my fourth decade, and I decided to share the first 10 “deep thoughts” that came to mind. Here are my Top 10 Reasons Why It’s Good To Be Over 40, in no particular order:
- I can go to the grocery store while looking like The Wreck of the Hesperus and it doesn’t bother me.
- While at the grocery store, I can use the little “elder-wagon” baskets on wheels…and not worry about that, either!
- Some of the most irritating, unfair decisions my parents made during my childhood make perfect sense to me now.
- Spending a Friday night reading aloud to my mother makes me feel like a winner rather than a loser. (Our current selection: In Search of King Solomon’s Mines by Tahir Shah. Completely fascinating account of Shah’s travels throughout Ethiopa in search of…well, you get the idea!)
- I’m earning an advanced degree in the inexhorable Law of Gravity…and I don’t even have to study for it!
- So many things that were vitally important 20 years ago now seem vaguely ridiculous, if I remember them at all.
- I understand now that I can’t “fix” anybody else and the only behavior/actions I can change are my own.
- In real life, the movie stars & pop idols don’t look like they do in the magazines, either. Real life is “unretouched.”
- If you’re not yet over 40, you won’t believe what sun damage and gravity will do to you–and how fast it will happen! (See #5 & #8.) Not familiar with the term Cooper’s Droop or the shock of discovering that you’ve begun to sprout stray eyebrows on your chin? You will be, soon enough!
- Well-behaved women rarely make history…because they’re too busy cleaning up the messes and the drama and the damage left behind by less-well-behaved women.
I could go on and on, of course, but as the ever-toothsome (even as an octogenarian!) Sir Sean Connery said in The Untouchables, “there endeth the lesson.” For now, anyway!