My mom used to read the Ogden Nash poem entitled “Man Bites Dog-Days” to us in summery, itchy weather*–and when she read the line ‘someone murmured, do not scratch it,’ we’d groan and continue scratching the various welts and bumps and lumps that marred our shins and marked us as children who spent a lot of time outdoors in the woods and the creeks of the rural South.
*Summery, itchy weather usually starts in spring and runs into the fall…
More good advice from Mr. Nash, in a T-shirt from SodaHead.com
In honor of my many, many mosquito bites over the years–including the ones I have right at this moment–here’s poet Ogden Nash’s take on the summer season:
MAN BITES DOG-DAYS
Ogden Nash
In this fairly temperate clime
Summertime is itchy time.
O’er rocks and stumps and ruined walls
Shiny poison ivy crawls.
Every walk in woods and fields
It’s aftermath of itching yeilds.
Hand me down my rusty hatchet;
Someone murmured, Do not scratch it.
Reason permeates my rhyme
Summertime is itchy time.
Beneath the orange August moon
Overfed mosquitoes croon.
After sun-up, flied and midges
Raise on people bumps and ridges.
Hand me down my rusty hatchet
Someone murmured, Do not scratch it.
Lo, the year is in its prime;
Summer time is itchy time.
People loll upon the beaches
Ripening like gaudy peaches.
Friends, the beach is not the orchard,
Nor is the peach by sunburn tortured.
Hand me down my rusty hatchet
Someone murmured, Do not scratch it.
Now the menu is sublime;
Summertime is itchy time.
Berries, clams, and lobsters tease
Our individual allergies.
Rash in rosy splendor thrives,
Running neck-and-neck with hives.
Hand me down my rusty hatchet
Someone murmured, Do not scratch it.
The bluebells and the cowbells chime;
Summertime is itchy time.
Despite the cold soup, and ice, and thermoses,
Garments cling to epidermises.
That fiery-footed centipede,
Prickly heat prowls forth to feed.
Hand me down my rusty hatchet
Someone murmured, Do not scratch it.
Hatchet-killings ain’t a crime:
Summertime is itchy time
Many thanks to mudcat.org for featuring the poem as their August 17, 2000 blog post so I could borrow it and not have to type in the whole thing myself–much appreciated!
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